March 15, 2025
Self-care is critical for mental health because it helps individuals navigate their stress, maintain their emotional balance, and work on staying within their window of tolerance. For those who might be questioning what the window of tolerance is, it is the mental and emotional space where you are better able to handle, navigate, and cope with things that life throws at you. This is when you are between hypo arousal (feeling sadness and depression), and hyperarousal (when you are feeling anxious and stressed). Focusing on establishing regular self-care practices allow us to implement time to recharge, prevent feelings of burnout, and reduce levels of anxiety. Self-care is something that helps to improve ones mental health and should be part of your general routine. I always like to compare taking care of our mental health to how we treat fires. When you are in school you do not practice a fire drill when there is an active fire, so we shouldn’t be practising tools to support our mental health only once it is/we are struggling. This is why taking even small moments of self-care daily can be really beneficial in improvements for general wellness.
We all hear about the common trends for self-care going for a walk, calling a friend, reading a book, or having a cup of tea. However, what fills someone’s cup can look very different for each person, and determining what helps to fill your own cup is a crucial step in your personal self-care journey. For some people going to a social event is enjoyable and energizing, they will enjoy being around people and feel recharged. While for other people, they may enjoy attending social events, but they do not feel recharged after. This is why it is helpful to determine for yourself what recharges your battery. Sometimes cleaning is something that feels like a de-stressor for some, while for others it feels like a chore. Determining your personal self-care strategies should be the first step in your self-care journey, and having a few go-to things, can be really helpful depending on the situation that you are presented with.
Physical activity can be really important for our mental health and wellness, as moving our bodies allows for serotonin (aka the happy chemical) to be released. This can in turn have a direct impact on our mood and increase our ability to navigate difficult situations. Creating a routine with regular physical activity can be hard, but in the long run can be something that you look forward to. The best way to start to implement physical activity into your life is to find something that you enjoy doing and to start really small! If 15 minutes of physical activity a day is all that feels manageable, then start there. I always say that implementing some physical activity is much better than not including any physical activity in your routine.
Sleep is something that is so critical and important for our daily functioning and helps us to remain within our window of tolerance when daily stressors arise. we know the importance of sleep, but there can be many factors and variables that get in the way of creating and maintaining healthy sleep habits. While we know sleep can be so important to help navigate life stressors, sometimes it is worry, stress, and overthinking that can interfere with our ability to get a good nights sleep.
Some ways to help improve sleep can be to create a nighttime routine, such as establishing a time when you stop using screens. Maybe have a specific tea that you drink before bed. Breath work before sleep can be really powerful; deep breaths are something that are underrated but can have a major positive impact on our ability to regulate our emotions. If you enjoy meditation this can also be something that you can take 5 minutes to do before bed. I know sometimes meditations can be hard to get started with, so I always suggest starting with mindfulness-guided meditations so that you have an image to create and follow in your mind. Another strategy I find to be really helpful if you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed is to journal, as trying to get the worries out on paper before going to bed can help to avoid some of the rumination that may take place while you are trying to sleep.
You may be thinking that sounds great for falling asleep, but what happens when you wake up in the middle of the night overthinking and worried? If you are finding that is happening, it can be helpful to leave a notebook beside your bed, and when you wake up from a stressor in the middle of the night, take a minute to write it down. The process of writing things out can be so powerful as we are then able to get them out of our minds and it can help us to make better sense of whatever is stressing us out.
Setting boundaries became a popular catchphrase, but what does that really mean? I always say that setting boundaries is great, but it really means nothing if you are not maintaining them. If you tell your friend to stop calling you in the middle of the night, but continue to answer their calls in the middle of the night, then yes you set the boundary, but it is not effective as you are not enforcing it with your actions. That is why it is up to you that when you say please stop calling me in the middle of the night, that you are following through and not answering the call.
Protecting your mental space can look different for each person, can vary based on what is going on in your life, and can shift and change. There always needs to be a balance between showing up for others and taking time to fill your own cup so that you are able to show up for others. For example, you may have established a bedtime routine that is really important for you so that is something that you protect and prioritize, it might mean leaving social gatherings early, or a variety of other things to ensure that you are able to complete the routine that is important for you.
As we have reviewed, self-care is important to implement in multiple areas of our lives, and the expression “you can’t pour from an empty cup” is very true! We all need to fill our own cup both to be able to navigate and address life stressors, as well as to have the capacity to deal with stressful events as they arise. When we are able to develop tools and strategies that help us fill our cups and navigate life stressors, this can help us to remain within and even expand our window of tolerance. I always say, “we do not practice a fire drill while there is a fire going on”, and similarly, we should not wait until we’re struggling or in crisis to practice our activities for mental wellness. When we have a preestablished toolbox to pull from when we are feeling stressed, it makes it easier to navigate the troubles that life throws at us.
I am a big advocate of recognizing when self-care is not working and reaching out for help, rather than waiting until your mental wellness is at a breaking point.
We are often cued with smaller indicators that we are struggling before things become very overwhelming. You might start to notice that activities that you used to enjoy are starting to no longer feel enjoyable. You might start to feel like you are regularly tired and easily frustrated, feel a sense of not enjoying time with friends anymore. Maybe you are noticing that your feeling a strong sense of anxiety and are apprehensive when you are trying to complete tasks that typically didn’t increase your stress levels. Shifts in sleep patterns, changes in appetites, or overall feelings of defeat are signals that it is probably a good idea to reach out for support. We go to the doctors for regular check-ups and when something is feeling a bit off, it is important to care for/look after our mental health in the same capacity.
If you are interested in seeking support, reach out today to have a no-obligation free 15-minute phone consultation to see how counselling can help you (or can positively impact you/your life).
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