What is Negative and Positive Self-talk?

August 15, 2024

Understanding the difference between negative and positive self-talk can help us understand how these varying thought patterns can impact: our perspective, our outlook on life, and generally adjust our beliefs. So what are negative and positive self-talk? These are both the narratives that you tell yourself in different situations or essentially the perspective that you might take on things. For example, if you were to get a test back and receive an F, an example of negative self-talk would be an internal narrative of ‘I suck or I am never going to be successful’.’ In contrast, an example of positive self-talk might be ‘I did the best that I could or I can learn from this and improve next time’. The important thing to notice is that the event remained the same, what changed is the perspective that the individual took. When we consider the practice of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), the framework is that our thoughts, feelings, and actions all impact and influence each other.

What is negative self-talk?

A general definition of negative self-talk is when our internal narrative leads us to feel bad or negatively about ourselves. This is often seen when we take a hopeless or negative perspective on an event. This can create a situation where we feel down on ourselves, as though nothing is going to change and we may start to feel hopeless.

How can this be problematic for thinking patterns?

When we consider the CBT triangle for thought patterns, and how closely connected our thoughts, feelings, and actions are, it helps to illuminate why negative self-talk can be a concern. Every day there are various situations that we are presented with and we have to decide how we want to respond to them. Although events may occur that are naturally negative, there are various situations where our perspective can change how we react and respond to a situation. When we start to view events that take place with a negative thinking pattern, this can cause a negative spiral to occur with multiple situations, and create a negative perspective on things ultimately causing someone to be down on themselves. When our thought patterns become negative, that can then lead us to engage in behaviours that are not positive and in turn lead to us experiencing negative feelings. Taking a negative perspective can also cause us to feel down on ourselves in general. However, thankfully this is a thinking pattern that can be altered and changed.

What is positive self-talk?

Positive self-talk is the opposite of negative self-talk in that depending on the situation that takes place, you are able to take a positive perspective which hopefully allows for a perspective shift to take place. Some situations are naturally easier to feel positive about and to take a positive perspective on, while other situations might be significantly harder to shift to include positive self-talk in them. Positive self-talk may occur when we are able to adjust how we see a situation that might not be presented the way that we hoped it would be, by creating a transition to something that allows us to move to a positive outlook or a more hopeful perspective of the situation.

How can this help adjust our thoughts, feelings, and actions?

When considering how our thoughts influence our feelings and actions, as represented by the CBT triangle, it can illuminate why positive self-talk is extremely important. When we are confronted with a negative situation, and we consider alternative perspectives to take, ways to shift the situation, or areas where we might be able to take control of the problem and change it, that can all contribute to positive self-talk. Going back to the example of getting an F on a test, there are various options to implement positive self-talk. For example, some options might be taking the perspective that I tried my best, now I know where I can improve next time, it is one test and there are many more that I can make up the grade, or accepting that it is not what you were wanting and reminding yourself that is not a reflection on who you are as a person. All of these positive self-talk perspectives allow you to move forward from the situation, not take it as a direct reflection on who you are as a person, and keep your feelings and actions in a positive light. 

Why does attempting to shift negative self-talk to positive self-talk have an important influence on our lives?

As noted above, ensuring that you are implementing positive self-talk over negative self-talk is an important practice. It can allow us to shift our perspective when we were hoping that specific events would have happened differently. This allows us to take charge of the things that we have control of in the situation, and sometimes that is only what we are telling ourselves about the situation.

Do you want to work on shifting away from negative self-talk? Reach out to one of Virtual Connect’s clinicians to book in for a consultation today here!